What have I committed to?

"I immediately regret this decision"

- Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell), "Anchorman"



Weight: Don't know, don't care... not important right now



I have just signed up for the Disney Princess Half Marathon at Disney World at the end of February. Yes, the PRINCESS Half Marathon...



Why would I do this? It's a female oriented race. Sure, they 'allow' men to sign up and run, but truthfully, I think they 'tolerate' it for 'legal reasons' so they don't get 'sued'. They try and dissuade men - offering female sized and cut shirts, and putting men in later starting corrals regardless of running ability - but last year about 500 men still ran (out of nearly 12,000 runners). In fact, a 'man' won the race... not just by time, but was the first to cross the finish line!



Yes, I put 'man' in quotes. C'mon dude! Why would you do that? What's your next accomplishment, winning field day at your kid's school?!? You're not a man, you're a douche.



Look, I don't have any desire to 'beat a bunch of women', or even to be one of a few sausages at the tuna convention. But I only get to Disney about once every 15-20 years, and truthfully, our Disney vacation was planned well before the race date was known. It is just serendipitous that the race falls on the morning of our last day at Disney.



And I don't have a lot of rules in life, but I think "Do not pass up an opportunity to run through the Magic Kingdom" is kind of a no-brainer.



Here's the problem. How in the world do I do this without becoming a douche myself? I mean, I'm not fast enough to win, place, or show... but how do I do this without turning myself into an unwelcome guest crashing the party?

I don't know anyone else doing this race... especially not a female I could run with, and claim I'm there for 'support', or even blame the woman for making me do it (much like when my wife drags me to baby/wedding showers... especially during football season). I really don't have a clear cut excuse... just the truth, which is just long and uninteresting enough that no one would listen or believe it.

So now I'm kind of stuck. I have to do it, because the registration is non-refundable (and it wasn't cheap, and I don't waste money). And I thus far have come up with 3 feasible options:

Run for Charity: The Race helps raise funds for Lymphoma Society... and I could turn it into my own little fundraiser. Except, I really hate fundraising, and hate hitting up friends for money. I did consider wearing a Team in Training outfit (thus, I would LOOK like I was running as a fundraiser, and outwardly be excusable), but I think this might be morally corrupt.

Turn "gay for a day": and really 'queen it up'. Be overly effeminate and act as though my lifelong dream is to be a princess. Wear a tiara and tutu and fairy wings and maybe some glitter. I could call everyone 'girlfriend' and girlishly scream at all the Disney characters I see. This, would honestly be fun, and funny... but ultimately, I'd have to explain to my family, and I'm not sure they'd understand.

Dress up: And go the costume route. More than likely, this would demolish any chances of a competitive time (competitive to my own abilities). The problem here is that costumes cost money (and I'm cheap), and while there are many great Disney costumes, the only thing that would truly 'play' is a Prince Charming costume.

Unless someone comes up with a better idea...