"Everything ends badly... otherwise it wouldn't end"
I am officially 'closing up shop' on this blogging thing. It's not working for me. Without ever knowing exactly why I was getting into it in the first place, the main purpose was to ensure balance between my own selfish pursuits (like running and such) and family, work, and such.
When it comes down to it, I don't have the time or energy to keep up the blog. Plus, I feel like it's SO repetitive. With all the various social media, I keep in touch with the people I want to keep in touch with, say the things I need to say, and blogging is, well, just one more thing to maintain.
And for the 'strangers' in my life, well... YOU all have blogs! And I'm much more entertained and entertaining just commenting on your blogs.
That all said... I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't do more with this. I never posted enough pictures or links. I never blogged enough. I wanted to, but it just wasn't ever near the top of my priority list.
But I do have a couple loose ends to tie up. Things totally worthy of their own epic posts with multiple pictures... but not happening.
- Disney Princess Half Marathon Race REPORT: Ran a 3 minute PR (1:46), in costume, after a week of gluttony and walking the parks. Happy with the result, but really wanted a sub-1:45
- Disney Princess Half Marathon Race REVIEW: LOVED the race, but wouldn't do it again, because I'm a guy. But will consider Disney for future destination races, in spite of the cost, because it was that damn good. Like being cheered on by celebrities.
- Grand Island Half Marathon: Inspired by my Disney PR, I ran another Half a couple months later. 1:42:55! ANOTHER 3 minute PR! Happy... but my left knee really fell apart the last 3-4 miles. I can still do better. But, no more Halfs on the schedule for now... just lots of 5Ks and obstacle courses.
So... there it is. Thanks for following and your support. Hit me up at Facebook, or here with comments. I'll be around, just quietly around.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Spoke too soon...
"The Gods have a temper, and they've been drinking all day"
- Groundskeeper Willie, "The Simpsons"
I spoke too soon about the weather being cooperative, and helpful, or at least 'not that bad'. Because ever since then, it's been on a mission to convince me to sit on my butt.
It's not that it's gotten any colder. It's mostly the wind. I really dislike the wind. Even in warm weather, I dislike the wind. But this past Saturday, when I was supposed to be running 11 miles, there was 25 mph winds with gusts up to 40 mph... plus it had already snowed a couple inches, plus it was still snowing, and it was under 20 degrees.
Basically, it was crappy. Snow had fallen and blown and drifted until you couldn't even see the sidewalks. There was very little visibility, and the blowing snow felt like little needles hitting your skin. I only managed 4 miles before I couldn't take it. It wasn't 'pain' or 'cold' as much as a Chinese water torture of little ice pellets hitting me directly in the eyeballs.
Sunday is a rest day, which was too bad, as it actually got warm (by Buffalo standards). Might've even gotten in the 30's.
Monday morning I truly planned on running... I had 5 miles on the calendar. But I was woken up multiple times by the howling wind. It was the kind of wind you can feel shaking the house. When I hear and feel wind like that, I don't even pretend I'm going to try and run... I just stay in bed the extra hour or so.
Turns out, I should've braved the wind. Yes, there were gusts up to 55 mph... but it was above freezing. ALMOST 40 degrees. I wouldn't have liked the wind, but that would've been the warmest run I've been on in months. Plus, it meant that there was actually some bare pavement and sidewalks... which is a bonus this time of year.
So this means, out of the last 16 miles I was 'supposed' to run, I ran 4. Because of travel plans, it means I will not have another 'long run' (or that I'm going to taper really hard!). I did get out this morning (9 degrees outside) and knocked out 5 miles. I suppose it was a tempo run since the middle portion was paced faster than the rest (and faster than I've been running for the last month. Exposed pavement will do that for you). But I'm admittingly feeling undertrained all of a sudden.
Plus, in an effort to overthink everything and sabotage myself, I am considering running in essentially brand new shoes for the upcoming half marathon. Stupid? Insane? Idiotic? Yes, yes, and yes. But, I'm 'logicifying' it by saying I can break in the shoes with a week of Disney fun and frolicking before the race. It'll probably be a game time decision... but it's about a 50-50 chance right now.
(Words not recognized by spell check: might've, should've (did spell check not take contraction class?), admittingly, undertrained, overthink. And 'logicifying', but that one was expected)
- Groundskeeper Willie, "The Simpsons"
I spoke too soon about the weather being cooperative, and helpful, or at least 'not that bad'. Because ever since then, it's been on a mission to convince me to sit on my butt.
It's not that it's gotten any colder. It's mostly the wind. I really dislike the wind. Even in warm weather, I dislike the wind. But this past Saturday, when I was supposed to be running 11 miles, there was 25 mph winds with gusts up to 40 mph... plus it had already snowed a couple inches, plus it was still snowing, and it was under 20 degrees.
Basically, it was crappy. Snow had fallen and blown and drifted until you couldn't even see the sidewalks. There was very little visibility, and the blowing snow felt like little needles hitting your skin. I only managed 4 miles before I couldn't take it. It wasn't 'pain' or 'cold' as much as a Chinese water torture of little ice pellets hitting me directly in the eyeballs.
Sunday is a rest day, which was too bad, as it actually got warm (by Buffalo standards). Might've even gotten in the 30's.
Monday morning I truly planned on running... I had 5 miles on the calendar. But I was woken up multiple times by the howling wind. It was the kind of wind you can feel shaking the house. When I hear and feel wind like that, I don't even pretend I'm going to try and run... I just stay in bed the extra hour or so.
Turns out, I should've braved the wind. Yes, there were gusts up to 55 mph... but it was above freezing. ALMOST 40 degrees. I wouldn't have liked the wind, but that would've been the warmest run I've been on in months. Plus, it meant that there was actually some bare pavement and sidewalks... which is a bonus this time of year.
So this means, out of the last 16 miles I was 'supposed' to run, I ran 4. Because of travel plans, it means I will not have another 'long run' (or that I'm going to taper really hard!). I did get out this morning (9 degrees outside) and knocked out 5 miles. I suppose it was a tempo run since the middle portion was paced faster than the rest (and faster than I've been running for the last month. Exposed pavement will do that for you). But I'm admittingly feeling undertrained all of a sudden.
Plus, in an effort to overthink everything and sabotage myself, I am considering running in essentially brand new shoes for the upcoming half marathon. Stupid? Insane? Idiotic? Yes, yes, and yes. But, I'm 'logicifying' it by saying I can break in the shoes with a week of Disney fun and frolicking before the race. It'll probably be a game time decision... but it's about a 50-50 chance right now.
(Words not recognized by spell check: might've, should've (did spell check not take contraction class?), admittingly, undertrained, overthink. And 'logicifying', but that one was expected)
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Cinderella story outta nowhere
"I don't think the heavy stuff will come down for a while"
- Carl Spackler (Bill Murray), "Caddyshack"
Weight: 157
Much like the best game of the Bishop's life in the movie - the good Lord, Mother Nature, or whatever figmentary creature or being you believe has controlled the weather has been strangely good to me.
Running & training in Buffalo, New York... outdoors... in the winter... with a 5:00 am start time... is not what anyone would call 'ideal'. In fact, it's pretty darn stupid. You have to have reasonable expectations of what you will accomplish. You have to know that sometimes, you're just not going to get your run in because it's too snowy (and there is no safe place to run) or too cold, or that you're going to get sick.
For this Disney Princess Half Marathon, I am basically following a 12 week program that generally calls for 5 days a week of running. (every 3rd week is only 4 days) It averages out to about 20 miles a week (less at the beginning, more at the end). This morning's run completed week 9.
So I started this program at the beginning of December. And so far, I have missed exactly ONE run! ONE!!! And that was this past Wednesday, Groundhog's Day, and it was just a little 3 mile jog. And being a '3rd week', that meant only 3 runs this week, and I still was between 19 and 20 miles.
Not all of my runs have been enjoyable or easy. A handful of times the temperatures are single digits, and a few times, the wind chill is sub-zero. But again, I think this is working to my advantage.
Normally, for me, any run of 5 or fewer miles, in temperatures of 30 or more degrees, and I'm wearing shorts. I shun tights... sorry, I just don't think it's flattering for a guy to wear tights. I have a couple pairs of sweat pants I rotate. Additionally, while I have some nice long sleeve tops, I don't really have running gear for temps this cold. So I'm throwing on big bulky sweatshirts to run.
Fashion aside, I think this is just what I need. Since I'll be running the Disney Princess Half in a Prince costume, running in heavy pants and top is as close as I can get to that costume while training. I thought about actually wearing the costume once for a run... but not only am I pretty sure the police would stop me (and do a mental wellness check), but I don't want to ruin the costume or 'sweat it up' ahead of time.
Anyway, I missed my 3 miler on Wednesday because I had to shovel snow instead. We got maybe a foot overnight, and then another foot during the day. So I shoveled in the morning and in the evening. All in all, it wasn't a 'bad' storm for our area. We're used to snow. And when we have that kind of prep time knowing it's coming, it's no big deal. They closed the schools for the day the night before... and honestly, they probably could've had them open. But not having the buses on the roads just made it easier to get everything cleared.
Thursday and Friday were both rest days (again - 3rd week is a shortened week).
The schedule called for a 15k race today (Saturday). Since even in good weather there aren't many of those around, I just planned on 'a little more than 9 miles with effort'. And I've been trying to really use my lungs as my guide for 'effort', ignoring my legs as much as possible. Tough to ignore them completely as it only take about a mile before my right Achilles feels like... feels like...
Well, have you ever had someone give you a really, really good wedgie? (If so, you must've had older siblings like me... if not, you suck). Not quite 'atomic' where something rips and there might be blood... but when you THOUGHT something ripped, but it was really just the elastic waistband going all 'un-elastic'? That's what my Achilles feels like. Like an un-elastic waistband.
I planned on a 5 mile-ish loop to the park, followed by a residential 4 mile-ish loop. At the park, the local "Team in Training" was running. This, was awesome... and again, good prep for the Disney Princess Half. Why? Because I'm fairly certain the local Team in Training is about 95% female.
Look, I'm happily married and eternally faithful to my wife. But if I have to see a lot of asses, I'd prefer they be female. This might make me a pig, this might just make me human. Whatever, it was me running with a large bunch of women... I felt like a whore on dollar night.
The hard part was, it's very hard for me to find my pace in that scenario. Not because of the scenery, but because I have a hard time with 'slow passes'. I feel like if I take too long to go past someone, especially a woman, that it's creepy. I don't want anyone (man or woman) to feel creeped out. So, once I get close, I try to pick up the pace for the pass.
This meant I went a little faster than I should have for the first half of my run, and I paid for it on the second half. Combined with the extra effort running through the parts of neighborhoods that people haven't shoveled, and my legs are a bit toasted.
But... tomorrow's another rest day. In 2 weeks I'll be in Florida, and in 3 weeks I'll be a Running Prince(ss). It's nice having that to look forward to.
And by the way - while I am out of town, I have a wonderful good friend staying at the house. He is an ex-football lineman, ex-bodyguard, and ex-convict. He is staying here with his pit bull and rottweiler, and his 3 guns. I am leaving him enough meth that he will not sleep the entire time. And I'm turning off the heat to put him in a foul mood, because I want him feeling extra stabby in case of intruder. You've been warned.
(words in this post not recognized by Blogger spell check: Stabby, meth, creeped, must've, could've, figmentary. I didn't know I was so creative in my vocabulary)
- Carl Spackler (Bill Murray), "Caddyshack"
Weight: 157
Much like the best game of the Bishop's life in the movie - the good Lord, Mother Nature, or whatever figmentary creature or being you believe has controlled the weather has been strangely good to me.
Running & training in Buffalo, New York... outdoors... in the winter... with a 5:00 am start time... is not what anyone would call 'ideal'. In fact, it's pretty darn stupid. You have to have reasonable expectations of what you will accomplish. You have to know that sometimes, you're just not going to get your run in because it's too snowy (and there is no safe place to run) or too cold, or that you're going to get sick.
For this Disney Princess Half Marathon, I am basically following a 12 week program that generally calls for 5 days a week of running. (every 3rd week is only 4 days) It averages out to about 20 miles a week (less at the beginning, more at the end). This morning's run completed week 9.
So I started this program at the beginning of December. And so far, I have missed exactly ONE run! ONE!!! And that was this past Wednesday, Groundhog's Day, and it was just a little 3 mile jog. And being a '3rd week', that meant only 3 runs this week, and I still was between 19 and 20 miles.
Not all of my runs have been enjoyable or easy. A handful of times the temperatures are single digits, and a few times, the wind chill is sub-zero. But again, I think this is working to my advantage.
Normally, for me, any run of 5 or fewer miles, in temperatures of 30 or more degrees, and I'm wearing shorts. I shun tights... sorry, I just don't think it's flattering for a guy to wear tights. I have a couple pairs of sweat pants I rotate. Additionally, while I have some nice long sleeve tops, I don't really have running gear for temps this cold. So I'm throwing on big bulky sweatshirts to run.
Fashion aside, I think this is just what I need. Since I'll be running the Disney Princess Half in a Prince costume, running in heavy pants and top is as close as I can get to that costume while training. I thought about actually wearing the costume once for a run... but not only am I pretty sure the police would stop me (and do a mental wellness check), but I don't want to ruin the costume or 'sweat it up' ahead of time.
Anyway, I missed my 3 miler on Wednesday because I had to shovel snow instead. We got maybe a foot overnight, and then another foot during the day. So I shoveled in the morning and in the evening. All in all, it wasn't a 'bad' storm for our area. We're used to snow. And when we have that kind of prep time knowing it's coming, it's no big deal. They closed the schools for the day the night before... and honestly, they probably could've had them open. But not having the buses on the roads just made it easier to get everything cleared.
Thursday and Friday were both rest days (again - 3rd week is a shortened week).
The schedule called for a 15k race today (Saturday). Since even in good weather there aren't many of those around, I just planned on 'a little more than 9 miles with effort'. And I've been trying to really use my lungs as my guide for 'effort', ignoring my legs as much as possible. Tough to ignore them completely as it only take about a mile before my right Achilles feels like... feels like...
Well, have you ever had someone give you a really, really good wedgie? (If so, you must've had older siblings like me... if not, you suck). Not quite 'atomic' where something rips and there might be blood... but when you THOUGHT something ripped, but it was really just the elastic waistband going all 'un-elastic'? That's what my Achilles feels like. Like an un-elastic waistband.
I planned on a 5 mile-ish loop to the park, followed by a residential 4 mile-ish loop. At the park, the local "Team in Training" was running. This, was awesome... and again, good prep for the Disney Princess Half. Why? Because I'm fairly certain the local Team in Training is about 95% female.
Look, I'm happily married and eternally faithful to my wife. But if I have to see a lot of asses, I'd prefer they be female. This might make me a pig, this might just make me human. Whatever, it was me running with a large bunch of women... I felt like a whore on dollar night.
The hard part was, it's very hard for me to find my pace in that scenario. Not because of the scenery, but because I have a hard time with 'slow passes'. I feel like if I take too long to go past someone, especially a woman, that it's creepy. I don't want anyone (man or woman) to feel creeped out. So, once I get close, I try to pick up the pace for the pass.
This meant I went a little faster than I should have for the first half of my run, and I paid for it on the second half. Combined with the extra effort running through the parts of neighborhoods that people haven't shoveled, and my legs are a bit toasted.
But... tomorrow's another rest day. In 2 weeks I'll be in Florida, and in 3 weeks I'll be a Running Prince(ss). It's nice having that to look forward to.
And by the way - while I am out of town, I have a wonderful good friend staying at the house. He is an ex-football lineman, ex-bodyguard, and ex-convict. He is staying here with his pit bull and rottweiler, and his 3 guns. I am leaving him enough meth that he will not sleep the entire time. And I'm turning off the heat to put him in a foul mood, because I want him feeling extra stabby in case of intruder. You've been warned.
(words in this post not recognized by Blogger spell check: Stabby, meth, creeped, must've, could've, figmentary. I didn't know I was so creative in my vocabulary)
Monday, January 31, 2011
I wasn't lazy, I was 'resting'
"Me fail English? That's unpossible."
- Ralph Wiggum, 'The Simpsons'
Weight: 157 (5 lbs less than last year... and I've really 'settled in' at this weight, which is good)
Not sure exactly how I managed not to write anything for 3 months. Sure, I've been busy... the holidays can be a chore. But truthfully, I think I suffered a bit of blogitis. An inflammation of the blogger tendons that causes discomfort. Generally brought on by a combination of overdoing it as well as not being consistent in blogging activity.
I think I was trying to turn every blog into something big... like turning every run into a mid-distance tempo run. Only I was doing it without any real base, and I burned out. I took a little time to think, to heal, and I think I may have figured out what will work for me.
I'm going to treat this more like my running schedule. Sometimes it'll be short and quick, sometimes it'll be long and drawn out (and probably painful). Variety. Now, if I can keep it 'regular' like a running schedule, I'll be on to something.
Generally, I am good with schedules... and organization... and maybe I'm known to go a little overboard when it comes to planning things out. But in the time i was not writing, I've gotten myself on a new sleep/run schedule (essentially early to bed, early to rise... run before anyone else is awake). I'm happy to say my running has been very consistent over these cold winter months.
In fact, this past month, my weekly miles have been greater than the average temperature for the week. (Not extremely difficult when the average weekly temperature is about 20 degrees). I don't know that I'm getting faster, or building endurance, but I'm not losing much fitness.
Running in winter is interesting up here in Buffalo NY. Every run turns into something like a trail and/or beach run... only really cold. The packed snow is like trail running, the fresh snow is like running in sand. Hard to push the pace, as you have to be constantly worried about footing, as well as hitting a puddle of slush that will about freeze your toes off. But I do enjoy it. Mostly I enjoy the scrunchy sound or running on snow... kind of like rubbing your hand on a balloon.
Additionally, I am still getting over last year's case of Achilles tendinitis. Last year was a downer as far as running and races go (performance-wise). Too much pain. It's getting a lot better... I'm just a lot slower.
Looking forward - Disney Princess Half Marathon. I have my prince costume, and am ready. I am cautiously optimistic I can PR at that race... mostly because all my previous half marathons have been so miserable, but also because with my winter training, I feel like the distance is no issue. I just have no clue about speed.
I do not run with a watch, or GPS. My miles and times are all estimated. It's my own little bit of Zen in my totally un-Zen life. Maybe later I'll start to worry about time more... for now, I'm just enjoying being pain-free.
Also already registered and paid for - Spartan Race Toronto and Warrior Dash Ontario! These 'Adventure Races' are probably just the latest trend, and I did a Warrior Dash last September (I blogged about it). Lots of fun.
If you're like me and grew up on the Superstars competition, or the Battle of the Network Stars, you probably remember watching the obstacle courses and thinking how fun they looked. if you're younger than me, you probably grew up watching shows on Nickelodeon with 'physical challenges'. Basically... that is what you have at these races, and I would recommend them to anyone who likes to have fun.
I'm sure there will be some road races and a short triathlon or two as well... just haven't put my money down yet. Plus, I promised my wife to pace myself a little better - no more than 2 races a month.
Hmmm... maybe i should pace my blog the same (2 a month). Could I possibly be interesting 24 times a year? That's a lot of times to figure out how to work "like a whore on dollar night" into a story. (maybe it's time to retire that, huh?)
We shall see.
- Ralph Wiggum, 'The Simpsons'
Weight: 157 (5 lbs less than last year... and I've really 'settled in' at this weight, which is good)
Not sure exactly how I managed not to write anything for 3 months. Sure, I've been busy... the holidays can be a chore. But truthfully, I think I suffered a bit of blogitis. An inflammation of the blogger tendons that causes discomfort. Generally brought on by a combination of overdoing it as well as not being consistent in blogging activity.
I think I was trying to turn every blog into something big... like turning every run into a mid-distance tempo run. Only I was doing it without any real base, and I burned out. I took a little time to think, to heal, and I think I may have figured out what will work for me.
I'm going to treat this more like my running schedule. Sometimes it'll be short and quick, sometimes it'll be long and drawn out (and probably painful). Variety. Now, if I can keep it 'regular' like a running schedule, I'll be on to something.
Generally, I am good with schedules... and organization... and maybe I'm known to go a little overboard when it comes to planning things out. But in the time i was not writing, I've gotten myself on a new sleep/run schedule (essentially early to bed, early to rise... run before anyone else is awake). I'm happy to say my running has been very consistent over these cold winter months.
In fact, this past month, my weekly miles have been greater than the average temperature for the week. (Not extremely difficult when the average weekly temperature is about 20 degrees). I don't know that I'm getting faster, or building endurance, but I'm not losing much fitness.
Running in winter is interesting up here in Buffalo NY. Every run turns into something like a trail and/or beach run... only really cold. The packed snow is like trail running, the fresh snow is like running in sand. Hard to push the pace, as you have to be constantly worried about footing, as well as hitting a puddle of slush that will about freeze your toes off. But I do enjoy it. Mostly I enjoy the scrunchy sound or running on snow... kind of like rubbing your hand on a balloon.
Additionally, I am still getting over last year's case of Achilles tendinitis. Last year was a downer as far as running and races go (performance-wise). Too much pain. It's getting a lot better... I'm just a lot slower.
Looking forward - Disney Princess Half Marathon. I have my prince costume, and am ready. I am cautiously optimistic I can PR at that race... mostly because all my previous half marathons have been so miserable, but also because with my winter training, I feel like the distance is no issue. I just have no clue about speed.
I do not run with a watch, or GPS. My miles and times are all estimated. It's my own little bit of Zen in my totally un-Zen life. Maybe later I'll start to worry about time more... for now, I'm just enjoying being pain-free.
Also already registered and paid for - Spartan Race Toronto and Warrior Dash Ontario! These 'Adventure Races' are probably just the latest trend, and I did a Warrior Dash last September (I blogged about it). Lots of fun.
If you're like me and grew up on the Superstars competition, or the Battle of the Network Stars, you probably remember watching the obstacle courses and thinking how fun they looked. if you're younger than me, you probably grew up watching shows on Nickelodeon with 'physical challenges'. Basically... that is what you have at these races, and I would recommend them to anyone who likes to have fun.
I'm sure there will be some road races and a short triathlon or two as well... just haven't put my money down yet. Plus, I promised my wife to pace myself a little better - no more than 2 races a month.
Hmmm... maybe i should pace my blog the same (2 a month). Could I possibly be interesting 24 times a year? That's a lot of times to figure out how to work "like a whore on dollar night" into a story. (maybe it's time to retire that, huh?)
We shall see.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
What have I committed to?
"I immediately regret this decision"
- Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell), "Anchorman"
Weight: Don't know, don't care... not important right now
I have just signed up for the Disney Princess Half Marathon at Disney World at the end of February. Yes, the PRINCESS Half Marathon...
Why would I do this? It's a female oriented race. Sure, they 'allow' men to sign up and run, but truthfully, I think they 'tolerate' it for 'legal reasons' so they don't get 'sued'. They try and dissuade men - offering female sized and cut shirts, and putting men in later starting corrals regardless of running ability - but last year about 500 men still ran (out of nearly 12,000 runners). In fact, a 'man' won the race... not just by time, but was the first to cross the finish line!
Yes, I put 'man' in quotes. C'mon dude! Why would you do that? What's your next accomplishment, winning field day at your kid's school?!? You're not a man, you're a douche.
Look, I don't have any desire to 'beat a bunch of women', or even to be one of a few sausages at the tuna convention. But I only get to Disney about once every 15-20 years, and truthfully, our Disney vacation was planned well before the race date was known. It is just serendipitous that the race falls on the morning of our last day at Disney.
And I don't have a lot of rules in life, but I think "Do not pass up an opportunity to run through the Magic Kingdom" is kind of a no-brainer.
Here's the problem. How in the world do I do this without becoming a douche myself? I mean, I'm not fast enough to win, place, or show... but how do I do this without turning myself into an unwelcome guest crashing the party?
I don't know anyone else doing this race... especially not a female I could run with, and claim I'm there for 'support', or even blame the woman for making me do it (much like when my wife drags me to baby/wedding showers... especially during football season). I really don't have a clear cut excuse... just the truth, which is just long and uninteresting enough that no one would listen or believe it.
So now I'm kind of stuck. I have to do it, because the registration is non-refundable (and it wasn't cheap, and I don't waste money). And I thus far have come up with 3 feasible options:
Run for Charity: The Race helps raise funds for Lymphoma Society... and I could turn it into my own little fundraiser. Except, I really hate fundraising, and hate hitting up friends for money. I did consider wearing a Team in Training outfit (thus, I would LOOK like I was running as a fundraiser, and outwardly be excusable), but I think this might be morally corrupt.
Turn "gay for a day": and really 'queen it up'. Be overly effeminate and act as though my lifelong dream is to be a princess. Wear a tiara and tutu and fairy wings and maybe some glitter. I could call everyone 'girlfriend' and girlishly scream at all the Disney characters I see. This, would honestly be fun, and funny... but ultimately, I'd have to explain to my family, and I'm not sure they'd understand.
Dress up: And go the costume route. More than likely, this would demolish any chances of a competitive time (competitive to my own abilities). The problem here is that costumes cost money (and I'm cheap), and while there are many great Disney costumes, the only thing that would truly 'play' is a Prince Charming costume.
Unless someone comes up with a better idea...
- Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell), "Anchorman"
Weight: Don't know, don't care... not important right now
I have just signed up for the Disney Princess Half Marathon at Disney World at the end of February. Yes, the PRINCESS Half Marathon...
Why would I do this? It's a female oriented race. Sure, they 'allow' men to sign up and run, but truthfully, I think they 'tolerate' it for 'legal reasons' so they don't get 'sued'. They try and dissuade men - offering female sized and cut shirts, and putting men in later starting corrals regardless of running ability - but last year about 500 men still ran (out of nearly 12,000 runners). In fact, a 'man' won the race... not just by time, but was the first to cross the finish line!
Yes, I put 'man' in quotes. C'mon dude! Why would you do that? What's your next accomplishment, winning field day at your kid's school?!? You're not a man, you're a douche.
Look, I don't have any desire to 'beat a bunch of women', or even to be one of a few sausages at the tuna convention. But I only get to Disney about once every 15-20 years, and truthfully, our Disney vacation was planned well before the race date was known. It is just serendipitous that the race falls on the morning of our last day at Disney.
And I don't have a lot of rules in life, but I think "Do not pass up an opportunity to run through the Magic Kingdom" is kind of a no-brainer.
Here's the problem. How in the world do I do this without becoming a douche myself? I mean, I'm not fast enough to win, place, or show... but how do I do this without turning myself into an unwelcome guest crashing the party?
I don't know anyone else doing this race... especially not a female I could run with, and claim I'm there for 'support', or even blame the woman for making me do it (much like when my wife drags me to baby/wedding showers... especially during football season). I really don't have a clear cut excuse... just the truth, which is just long and uninteresting enough that no one would listen or believe it.
So now I'm kind of stuck. I have to do it, because the registration is non-refundable (and it wasn't cheap, and I don't waste money). And I thus far have come up with 3 feasible options:
Run for Charity: The Race helps raise funds for Lymphoma Society... and I could turn it into my own little fundraiser. Except, I really hate fundraising, and hate hitting up friends for money. I did consider wearing a Team in Training outfit (thus, I would LOOK like I was running as a fundraiser, and outwardly be excusable), but I think this might be morally corrupt.
Turn "gay for a day": and really 'queen it up'. Be overly effeminate and act as though my lifelong dream is to be a princess. Wear a tiara and tutu and fairy wings and maybe some glitter. I could call everyone 'girlfriend' and girlishly scream at all the Disney characters I see. This, would honestly be fun, and funny... but ultimately, I'd have to explain to my family, and I'm not sure they'd understand.
Dress up: And go the costume route. More than likely, this would demolish any chances of a competitive time (competitive to my own abilities). The problem here is that costumes cost money (and I'm cheap), and while there are many great Disney costumes, the only thing that would truly 'play' is a Prince Charming costume.
Unless someone comes up with a better idea...
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Warrior Sized Entry/Race Report
"Well, I guess you had to be there
Yeah, you really had to be there
Some things you just can't explain
It's just not the same
I guess you had to be there"
- Lorrie Morgan, "I Guess You Had To Be There"
Weight: 160
I've been debating for the last few days precisely how to blog about this race. But right there is where the trouble starts. Calling the Warrior Dash a race isn't accurate... it's an 'event' (and it's borderline a 'festival'). To sum up the whole experience would take miles of typing, and still not come close to conveying what it's really like. To truly enjoy it, to truly be in my shoes and understand... you'd have had to be there.
Yeah, you really had to be there
Some things you just can't explain
It's just not the same
I guess you had to be there"
- Lorrie Morgan, "I Guess You Had To Be There"
Weight: 160
I've been debating for the last few days precisely how to blog about this race. But right there is where the trouble starts. Calling the Warrior Dash a race isn't accurate... it's an 'event' (and it's borderline a 'festival'). To sum up the whole experience would take miles of typing, and still not come close to conveying what it's really like. To truly enjoy it, to truly be in my shoes and understand... you'd have had to be there.
Plus, I wanted to make sure to include some pictures.
In short - Warrior Dash was more fun than a whore on dollar night.
That said, not all Warrior Dash courses are the same, and a HUGE part of my experience had to do with the great people who traveled and competed with me. The majority of my post-race soreness is in my abs, and I'm pretty sure it's from laughing so much, so hard, all day long. The day ultimately was filled with tons of inside jokes, male bonding, and general hilarity.
So... I'm just going to get right to the race! (But understand, it was only 1/12th of my time AT the Warrior Dash)
(pre-race... also the last known picture of the day without mud in someone's ears or nostrils)With 500 or so people lined up in the corral, we nervously twitched and pretended to stretch as they counted down for the start of the 1:30 wave (waves went off every half hour). There was no real way to loosen up for what we were about to do... from the small part of the course we could see from the bottom of the mountain, we knew this would be something totally new to us.
Side note: As a former Coloradan, I use the term 'mountain' loosely. It was being held at "Windham Mountain" ski resort... so for New York standards, the word fits. In Colorado, it might be a foothill.
At "GO!", flames shoot into the air from the scaffolding holding up the start banner. Think "Kane from WWE" style. And the corral starts to jog forward. No one really took off running, there was no point... immediately from the start, you were going the direction of 'up'. 'Running' up a ski trail, even a green trail, is not easy.
The total climb is estimated to be 800 vertical feet, and approximately the first 1.25 miles of the course. That averages out to about a 12-13% grade. BUT, that's just the average... there are times I know it was closer to 20%. Out of the 6,062 people who competed, I am estimating MAYBE a dozen or two actually did NOT walk at some point up this incline.
Me, I technically jogged to the first obstacle - 'Knee High Hell' (running through tires football player style). I say 'technically jogged' because I was technically not walking... it was just as slow as a walk. It was maybe a quarter mile to the obstacle, and the tires were a welcome break.
But my legs were too tired and throbbing, so I didn't really high step through them. I did more of a 'jog on top of the tires' technique, and oddly, it worked fine. This would turn out to be a recurring theme - the obstacles being the easiest part of the race, and the place where I was passing people. For this race, the obstacles were not the problem... they weren't really the solution either, but whatever.
After the tires? More uphill of course! And another quarter mile of climbing later, it flattened out for the next obstacle - 'Warrior Wall'. (a series of 3 walls, maybe 4 feet high to get over). Again, I made quick work of these obstacles. Most people were using a 'hands on top, hoop feet up to the side' technique. Good... but not fast enough for me! I basically threw my chest on the top of the wall sideways, and threw my legs over, trying not to hurt my jewels. (I even heard a couple people say 'ouch' while watching me, so it must've looked dangerous or something)
As I cleared the last wall, a couple guys near me were talking. One had a watch on. He said "7:30" was our time so far. I was trying to picture the map of the race course in my head... and the walls were about halfway up the hill, a little more than a half mile from the start. Can not explain how hard the uphill was.
And after the walls, it got a little steeper. I really wanted to 'jog' the whole way up. I wanted to have that accomplishment. And I might've been able to... technically. But it was such a slow jog that I was doing, that people were catching and passing me while walking. Once I justified that walking was potentially a faster route, I started to walk... although it was more of a hike or climb.
The incline started to settle down and get more realistic, so i knew we were close to the top, or highest point of the race course. That's where we hit the next obstacle - 'Tunnels of Terror'. Big drain tubes to crawl through. There were 5 or 6 tubes all next to each other, and I shot for the one that seemed like it had not been entered the most recently (did that sentence just make sense?). I was maybe 4 feet behind another guy... and someone got in the tube 4 feet behind me.
This tube was not 'hard' - it was basically crawling. But it was a little freaky. The tubes were much longer than I expected, maybe 30 feet long. And once you had someone ahead and behind you, it was dark. It was big enough to crawl comfortably, but small enough that you would not be able to turn around.Thankfully, the guy in front of me moved quickly, and didn't hold me up at all. I blew through it.
Side note: Another recurring theme, that on some of the obstacles, you had to wait. Safety only allows so many people in so much space and on so many obstacles. if you do an event like this, you have to know that it's a possibility. Thankfully, my 'race' did not include much waiting.
After the tubes, we went slightly uphill, and crested it. SO nice to start a little downhill! We were mostly running across the side of the mountain, but with a little downhill. Now if you've ever seen a ski resort, or even just a resort map, you can envision how this went - run across a ski trail, then run through the trees that divide the trails. This happened multiple times. (and technically is another obstacle - 'Black Forest')
About the 2nd or 3rd time we entered the trees, we see another "Obstacle Ahead" sign. In the middle of the trees is a... swamp? pond? Wet Dirt Hole? They call is "Slithering Swamp". I quickly noticed that even though the 'swamp' was 10-12 feet wide, people were going through it single file along the right hand side. Not wanting to slow down, I jumped in on the left hand side.
First, I made an error here by not diving in, and jumping in with my feet. The water was at least 4 and a half feet deep on the left side, and it would have made it much easier to swim through the obstacle. Second, the water was maybe 50 degrees, which about knocked the wind out of me by jumping in (instead of just following the single file line - the water was much shallower on their side).
I tried to swim across the obstacle, and got 3-4 strokes in before abandoning that strategy. The coldness, and dirtiness of the water got to my head, plus, swimming in shoes... not fun. I 'jogged' as fast as I could to to the other side, climbed up the ramp out of the water, threw up the devil horns for the camera guy, and was happy to get into the warm sun again.
(That's right, I rock)
At this point, the remainder of the race seemed to be on hyperspeed. Mostly because of the downhill runs. The downhills were even steeper than the uphill (mostly running down blue ski runs). Going fast wasn't the problem, staying in control and not falling was the issue.
And every 100-200 meters, you would take HARD turns (greater than 90 degrees), slightly uphill through the trees separating the ski runs. At minimum, we were 'off road running' over rocks, between trees, not really on much of a trail. But it was in these sections they would also throw in additional obstacles.
There was "Walk the Plank", where suddenly there was a 10 foot wide ditch with 4-5 boards across. The boards were 2x8's... not terribly difficult to keep your foot on, and the ditch was not horribly deep, so it wasn't scary. It was just a very quick change of pace and concentration. Again, thankfully, there was an open plank without anyone on it, and I was able to run across quickly without slowing up.
There was "Rip Van Winkle Way" - basically a wood bridge that was challenging for 2 reasons - first, it began with a steep incline (and at this point, every incline was brutal and frustrating and lead to many four letter words being said). Second, it wasn't very wide, so it made passing difficult. It was long, but really didn't go over anything other than the ground. It was basically like they paved the trail with wood for a section.
There was the 'Cargo Climb' - a large cargo net apparatus. Yes, it took a little coordination, but was not difficult. You had to climb a cargo net 10-12 feet up to the top. The top had a small platform about 3 feet long, then you climbed down the 10-12 feet of cargo net on the other side.
For me, this was another obstacle to pass people. I was fortunate there was not so many people on the net to slow me up, but also, at the top, I didn't stand up like the majority of people. Once I had my torso to the top, I rolled over to the other side (precious seconds) Flopped my legs over the far edge, and pretty much jumped (instead of climbing down like a ladder).
The final quarter mile of the race was possibly the most fun of all. Still blazing downhill, you come to the "Catskill Skid". Basically, a large downhill slip 'n' slide. Here, I had to stop and wait for people in front or me... maybe about 20 seconds. The slide was 20-25 yards long, and ended in a 'pool'. There were volunteers controlling 'traffic', but you still had to count on the guy in front of you getting out of the way in time, and hope whoever was behind you gave you enough time to get out.
Not a problem for me. But the there was someone a couple waves behind me who was pulled off this obstacle on a backboard... rumored to have a broken back. I have no clue what exactly happened, but they did have to shut the obstacle down for a little while. Honestly, it was the easiest obstacle on the course... but maybe the lesson is, there is a chance of injury at all times, and don't let your guard down, not even on the easy obstacles.
A hundred yards later was the "Warrior Roast", two rows of fire to leap over. Yes... fire. It was not outrageously high or difficult, although, the steepness of the terrain still kept it interesting. The fires were constantly kept going with Duraflame logs, and I can not for the life of me figure out why they are not an official sponsor of the race.
(I'm not blurry, I'm just moving that darn fast)
Another hundred yards and we're at the bottom of the hill, finish line in sight, with only "Muddy Mayhem" standing in the way. A long mud pit, maybe 18-24 inches deep, with barbed wire strewn across (so you have to crawl through it). The trick was to SLIDE into it... not DIVE (as one of my friends did. Gave himself a nice mild concussion, which meant no post-race beer drinking). I didn't have much of a strategy here other than "crawl fast". About 20 yards after exiting the pit, you were at the finish line.
(two 'devil horns with tongue out' pics in one race report... officially making it uncool)
Whew! It might have been more exhausting writing that than actually doing it. And like I said, that was only 1/12th of my time at the event. I could write for days about the people, costumes, planning and travel, and the many, many inside jokes to come out of the day.
(picture representing people, costumes, AND an inside joke)So if you have an opportunity to Warrior Dash, I suggest you do it. It's one of those things that you truly have to see and be part of to really 'get it' - like a tropical sunset, the first ski run in fresh powder, or touching your first boob... words, pictures, or movies just can't capture the moment like being there.
If you made it this far, I HIGHLY recommend checking out THIS blog, of someone I don't even know, who was at the event the same day as me, simply because they have AWESOME pictures. And check out THIS video from the course (taken on day 2) for some good visual of the obstacles, and THIS video is really good (to see the obstacles). He sped up the 'boring' parts (like walking uphill) and it's still 20 minutes long!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Long time, no blog
"This information cannot leave this room. Ok? It would devastate my reputation as a dude."
- The Geek (Anthony Michael Hall), Sixteen Candles
Weight: I don't even want to look (but I'll guess 160-163)
You know you haven't blogged for a while when you have to actually read your own blog to remember.
I have no excuse, nothing that would truly justify it. I've been busier than a whore on dollar night, I've been lazy, and I've had other things that were higher priorities. There have been 2 uneventful triathlons, successfull in that I didn't get hurt, but otherwise, kid of depressing. I did manage a 20:20 5K race, which given the horrible year of training (due to my ongoing, lingering, pestulent Achilles issues) I'm pretty happpy with.
I've spent a lot of time with family, immediate and extended. There were parties for birthdays and anniversaries, concerts, And mostly, I've spent a lot... LOT of time reading. I don't think there is much on TV during the summer, so I've managed to knock out something like a dozen books since my last blog post (that said, I'm always up for book recommendations)
And it's still not going to settle down anytime soon. I'm going to try another 5K this weekend even though I have run exactly My parents are coming for a visit this coming week - their visit will encapsulate the Buffalo Wing Festival, wiring our new garage for electricity, and the first day of school. Then I have to throw together something for my wife's birthday, then on Spet 18th, I'll be heading to Warrior Dash (which I really hope inspires a blogging re-birth as well)
And then...? I don't know. Mostly I want to heal. Maybe I'll devote an entire blog post to my Achilles injuries/issues someday, but the short version is, it's kind of making me depressed. It's been a much larger setback than I ever thought it would be. Not only to the whole running/health/athleticism thing... but mentally and emotionally. I'm not 'depressed', I'm just bummed.
That said, I'm sure I'll still sign up for another 4-8 5K races between now and Christmas. Even if I can't run regularly, I still have a sense of loyalty to some of our local races and charities.
- The Geek (Anthony Michael Hall), Sixteen Candles
Weight: I don't even want to look (but I'll guess 160-163)
You know you haven't blogged for a while when you have to actually read your own blog to remember.
I have no excuse, nothing that would truly justify it. I've been busier than a whore on dollar night, I've been lazy, and I've had other things that were higher priorities. There have been 2 uneventful triathlons, successfull in that I didn't get hurt, but otherwise, kid of depressing. I did manage a 20:20 5K race, which given the horrible year of training (due to my ongoing, lingering, pestulent Achilles issues) I'm pretty happpy with.
I've spent a lot of time with family, immediate and extended. There were parties for birthdays and anniversaries, concerts, And mostly, I've spent a lot... LOT of time reading. I don't think there is much on TV during the summer, so I've managed to knock out something like a dozen books since my last blog post (that said, I'm always up for book recommendations)
And it's still not going to settle down anytime soon. I'm going to try another 5K this weekend even though I have run exactly My parents are coming for a visit this coming week - their visit will encapsulate the Buffalo Wing Festival, wiring our new garage for electricity, and the first day of school. Then I have to throw together something for my wife's birthday, then on Spet 18th, I'll be heading to Warrior Dash (which I really hope inspires a blogging re-birth as well)
And then...? I don't know. Mostly I want to heal. Maybe I'll devote an entire blog post to my Achilles injuries/issues someday, but the short version is, it's kind of making me depressed. It's been a much larger setback than I ever thought it would be. Not only to the whole running/health/athleticism thing... but mentally and emotionally. I'm not 'depressed', I'm just bummed.
That said, I'm sure I'll still sign up for another 4-8 5K races between now and Christmas. Even if I can't run regularly, I still have a sense of loyalty to some of our local races and charities.
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